Casey's Poland Journal 2007

Tuesday, July 10, 2007
We left Atlanta Sunday at 8:55pm and flew straight through to Paris. We were to have a 6 hour layover in Paris, so we decided to go see some sights. We took a train to Notre Dame and began to walk down the Sienne River, when this freak thunderstorm blew in. I am talking thunder, lightning, winds and even HAIL! We took cover, and eventually had to give up our idea to see more of Paris. Our flight ended up being delayed for nearly 2 hours, so it was very late getting into the retreat center here in Poland. It was after midnight Monday night (I guess really Tuesday morning!) and I had been up for nearly 48 hours straight. I was exhausted, as was most of the team. Some were able to sleep on the flight to Paris, but I was in the middle row of the plane, and I just could not get comfortable enough to actually sleep.

The retreat center is nice. There are many Jewish guests staying here and they are all so overwhelmed and emotional about the work we are doing in the Otwock Jewish cemetery both here in Otwock and in Warsaw. I have been able to have some really wonderful conversations in a mixture of Hebrew, Yiddish, Russian, Polish and English….we switch from language to language to get around the barriers if we don’t understand a word!!!

The cemetery work is exacting with many rules for such holy ground to the Jewish community. Our heads must be covered, there is no food or drink, no scriptures are allowed in there, and if a weed’s root is growing into the grave itself, it cannot be pulled, it must be cut. If we find bones, we have to mark them and notify someone immediately. Apparently when the Nazi’s came through, they used the tombstones of the Jewish people to pave roads with and just dug up the whole place looking for treasure. Most of the buried people’s relatives were killed in the concentration camps so there are so few left to even know where their loved ones are buried or care for the gravesites.

The missionary who lives here, Steven, believes the hearts of the Poles, both Jew and Gentile are so hardened because the land is cursed by the bloodguilt. His hope is to begin a work of reconciliation and healing, and to then build bridges of relationships so the gospel can go forth.

In the Warsaw cemetery, there are thousands of headstones left, but there are twice as many bodies buried there than there are headstones remaining. In addition, there are two mass graves, one which contains the bodies of 40,000 Jewish people , and one that contains the bodies of over 100,000 Jewish people, from huge massacres and even simply starvation during the ghetto time and war.

It was sobering information. I cried throughout the orientation on the cemetery work. It’s no wonder all the Jewish people staying here are so emotional about it. You cannot be here without feeling the horrors of the holocaust in the very air. The wounds here are so deep and so raw. It is not difficult to see that the land is indeed cursed by the events that have taken place here.

We spent the afternoon preparing for the Bible clubs and visiting the orphanage where we will be holding them. The children were in the windows waving and blowing kisses and holding up their dolls or stuffed animals for us to see. The director would not let all the team inside today, because she was not prepared, apparently for our visit. One of the leaders who was allowed inside said that one little child ran up to her with arms outstretched crying “mommy!” You can imagine how that causes our hearts to ache.

I got to stop briefly into an internet café, but it was so small and the pressure to get off the computer was so intense that I couldn’t detail all that’s happened so far. Upon leaving there and waiting for the train back to our lodging, I was shown an overgrown, grassy ramp. It was on that ramp that the Jews of this area were gathered up and loaded onto the cattle cars to go to the death camps. I took pictures, again, with tears in my eyes. It’s going to be an emotional journey for me.

Tomorrow the work begins in earnest. I need to remember all I have seen, and those I have shared with so far. BetAmi, Tamar, Stanislav, Zuschia…Leon, the man who kissed my head when I spoke to him in Yiddish…and several others I don’t have names memorized for yet. I was able to share my testimony with all of those mentioned today. The work we are doing here sort of gives me the “right” in their hearts to share my faith with them. Tamar, Zuschia and the man who kissed my head, are all concentration camp survivors. Zuschia and Tamar both were weeping everytime we spoke. Zuschia said she believed, because I had “the One”, that my faith was better than hers! She is emotional and feeling that “envy” of the Messiah I have! I was able to share with her that she can have the same Messiah, that He loves her and He came for her. I think this week will be a catalyst in her life. Tamar, as well. Steven told us in orientation that Poles are very sedate and not expressive in their conversation, or “touchy-feely” so we have to be very reserved in our interaction with them. But, so far, the Jewish people I have been sharing with have been VERY emotional, and very demonstrative. Tamar just weeps and weeps when she talks to me and strokes my hair, my hands, my cheeks. Several have kissed me for being here and they love it when I can communicate with them in various languages. It’s been sweet….unforgettable.

Thursday, July 12,2007
Yesterday (Wednesday) was exhausting, both physically and emotionally. I cry a lot anyways, but I have never wept with such gut wrenching emotion as I have here for the pain in this land. I spent the day working in the cemetery. This cemetery is literally destoyed. The Nazi’s came in and devastated it, trying to wipe out even the memory of the Jews in this land. Some tombstones have huge mortar shell holes in them, because they used them for target practice. There are gaping holes where the remains have been dug up….piles of tombstones broken and crumbled, all heaped together. It is as if any and every indignity that man could think of to defile this place has been done. We are building a wall to set off the borders of the cemetery, and clearing the land. We tried to upright tombstones when possible. As I worked around the graves, I softly sang the mourners kaddish over those buried there. I cannot describe the grief that I felt in that place of devastation. At one point in the afternoon, I was helping upright a headstone, and stepped backwards into a hole, and injured my left leg. I could not walk on it and had to be carried out. I sat on the perimeter and prayed for the work, the Poles and Jews reconciliation and the healing of the land. Thankfully, there is a doctor on our team. She iced my leg, wrapped it, medicated me, did some massage and so forth. The pain was quite alarming. Since my room is up 3 flights of stairs (oh yes, no elevators) I was forced to spend most of the evening downstairs in the main lobby/foyer outside of the dining room.

This turned out to be exactly the Lord’s plan for the evening. Steven, the missionary, was asked by several of the Jewish people staying there to sit with them in the dining room and explain why we were doing what we were doing. I intended to sit out in the lobby with Robin on the prayerteam and pray. However, several of those he was speaking with would wander out and sit with us. One lady, BetAmi, sat down and we began to sing songs we both knew in Hebrew together. Our singing and fellowship was sweet and drew the others out to us. For hours, we sang together, and Steven and I were able to share the gospel with Stanislav, BetAmi, Enya and Leon in great detail. Stanislav told Steven to translate for me that when he speaks to me he can see my heart on my face….this was such a precious compliment to me. They all were very loving and open to listening. Stanislav actually laughingly told Steven if I remained in Poland, all the Jews in Poland would become Baptists!!!! BetAmi wept when I shared with her of singing the kaddish at the cemetery. Her pain is very deep. Stanislav spoke of when he was trying to escape the occupation in Warsaw, he ran into a very wealthy Catholic church. He stopped before a huge marble statue of Jesus on the cross and begged Him for help. He wondered why He never helped him. He said in the concentration camps the Nazi’s had the words “God is with us” on their belt buckles. He is very bitter towards the Catholic church. All of them are. They believe they stood by and watched their very anihilation. However, they speak of seeing the finger of God in us. They notice a difference in our faith and what they are used to seeing and it is ministering to them. Jesus help.

The orphanage team had over 30 children at the day camp yesterday. The children were told Bible stories, did crafts, played games, sang songs and did ESL classes. The children were happy and excited to be allowed to come. They were loved on, and loved back. Even the orphanage workers were sitting in on the lessons and joined in making the crafts! While they were reserved with our team at first, by the end of the day, they were so thankful for the ministry.

We all went to bed, elated with the state of the work. My roommates Kimberly, Mary and I annointed my injured leg with oil and prayed for healing in such a way as to astound and be a testimony to the Jewish residents who were all very concerned for me. It had been a wonderful day.

We, however, awakened to some unfortunate news. Apparently the Catholic priest in this area is bent on working AGAINST our efforts with the Jewish community and the cemetery restoration. A great deal of political weight was being thrown around to discourage the work. The priest ordered our team to fill in the footings we had been digging for the wall by tomorrow when he got there, or there would be trouble. I do not fully understand how the priest has any say in this, but politically they are the power in this country. The Jewish community lives in fear of them, even to this day. It was discouraging for the men who dug the trench yesterday to be forced to fill it in today. But, the Lord allowed laughter and joy in the work to return, and we cleared even more land today, than yesterday, and hauled huge stones into place, marking the boundaries, even without a wall.

Because of my leg injury, I alternated between hauling debris and prayer and intercession with the prayerwalk team today. I have to say though, that the healing taking place in my leg is pretty miraculous. Where I could not even put any weight on it yesterday, today, I truly can walk on it, with only the occasional limp, and twinges of pain. It has not hampered my work at all. And, my new Jewish friends are all amazed at how powerful our prayers are, and how powerful our God is. He is doing astounding things here in their hearts.

The orphanage day camp team had 42 children today! The children were very wound up today, according to Kimberly and Mary. One little girl who attended today was actually from France and couldn’t speak English or Polish, so communicating with her was very challenging. The main goal of this work with the children is to build positive relationships in the surrounding community so that a Bible study could begin in that area, and hopefully eventually plant a church. The orphanage we are working in does take very good care of the children. That is a positive thing to notice. One little child was telling one of the teachers about his father beating his mother terribly and nearly killing her. The child was saved from that situation thankfully, but this is where he is as a result. It seemed very important for the child to be able to share this with them. It is so hard to hear some of their stories.

Saturday, July 14, 2007
Oh, such times we’ve had. There are so many to try to recount, it’s hard to keep them all straight. Yesterday was the Sabbath. We ended our work early in the afternoon in the cemetery, so that we could prepare for the Shabbat dinner the Jewish Retreat Center was serving. It was magnificent. My wonderful new friend, Leon, did the kiddush, BetAmi did the candle lighting (using my scarf!!). We had a wonderful meal, and then, a few of us went over to the table of Stanislav, Enya, BetAmi, Leon and the others. The director of the retreat center, Henrik had set up a special concert from some Polish Jewish artists. They put on a wonderful performance of Yiddish, Hebrew and Polish Jewish songs. The entire team was treated to a complete immersion in Jewish culture and it was just so touching. At the end, we danced the Hora to Hava Nagila, and everyone joined in the fun. Then it became open mic night!!! Leon took the microphone (he’s 96 by the way) and sang some of his favorite songs in Hebrew….BetAmi sang with him, and then she and Steven from our team sang “Amazing Grace” together! (She had asked me to write the words for her, because she had heard us singing it during one of our devotion times and she loved it.) It went on from there with different people jumping up and singing. At some points it sounded like a heavenly choir, it truly did. To see our people joining in with the team of Baptists singing “Alleluia”, and so on, brought tears of joy to my eyes. I know God was smiling and sometimes even laughing.

Later on, when everyone was turning in, I had been invited to join in a game of Polish Uno (this is a whole other story….this game is wrong on so many levels, I can’t even begin to go there with you! Suffice it to say it brings out the worst in people who are otherwise trustworthy, honest and honorable!!!) but BetAmi was giving me her address to come visit her when I am in Israel….and then she asked to translate and explain the words to her of “Amazing Grace”. Wow. This was an opportunity of a lifetime. So, in that little lobby of the Jewish Retreat Center in the middle of Poland, God gave me the chance to share the meaning of grace to a holocaust surviving Israeli woman, whose husband had been killed in a terrorist attack in Israel. This precious lady has known so much suffering. She told me she had no peace in her soul…and she desperately wanted peace. She was having so much difficulty grasping the concept of grace….and then she told me of her husband’s survival of the holocaust, losing all his family, moving to Israel to begin a new life in this new country for his people….to lose him in a terrorist attack on a bus in Jerusalem. She wept as she told me the intimate details of her life, her sorrow. Then she said that the terrorist himself had actually survived the attack. But….she wanted me to know she did not wish for him to die. That’s when I said “BetAmi, THAT’S GRACE!” I watched her “get it”, and it was a profound moment. She then asked me how a Jew can believe as I do, that Jesus is the Messiah. I got to open up the scriptures with her, and even write down the prophecies for her. At the end of our conversation, she asked me what she was to do with this knowledge. She wasn’t sure if she could believe. I told her to pray and ask HaShem to tell her if Jesus were true. She was surprised….would He answer her??? I assured her that He LOVES to answer prayers like that. We parted ways for the evening and it was a sweet way to end the day.

Today is Saturday, and we weren’t able to work the synagogue so the entire team went to the orphanage. I have to confess, this was the noisiest hours of my entire life! But, such precious children!!! I got to serve in the Bible story room. Today, they were giving the story of the crucifixion and ressurection. My sweet roommate Mary was demonstrating Ressurection Eggs with the children and practically acting out the entire thing herself! It was so adorable to watch her! At the end of the session with the middle aged children, 8 prayed to receive the Lord! When we shared with the older children, 5 of the boys prayed to receive the Lord. Their names are: Lukesz M, Lukesz C, Matewsz,Mehal and Stanislav. I don’t have the names of all the 8 younger children.

Many of my Jewish friends were departing today, BetAmi being one of them. I felt the Lord urging me to not let her leave without giving her a New Testament in Hebrew and English. I waited until lunchtime, and then joined her and Enya at their table. I told her I wanted to give her a gift, and she was deeply moved by it. She wanted to give me something as well. She ran back to her room and brought me her small Hebrew book of Psalms. She told me she has kept it with her everywhere she goes….because it makes her feel safe. The she said that what I had given her would always make her feel safe. I was choking on tears as she handed me her treasured keepsake….dogeared and well worn….little does BetAmi know that the Jesus she will encounter in her new Bible will make her more safe and more secure than she has ever known before.

Sunday, July 15, 2007
Today I feel very nervous inside. I have to share the devotional thought this morning in our little time together, before church. I thought it was yesterday and got myself all stirred up with nerves beforehand, only to discover I was a day early in my stage fright. I’ve had a whole other day, however, to feel that nervousness in the back of my mind. I’m SUCH a chicken!!! I’ve prayed and prayed for the Lord to still my silly heart. I just had to get this down, before I head down to breakfast…..more later on how it all works out. Jesus help!

It’s now about 2:30pm. We have a few moments before we head out to the woods for a Polish horse-drawn wagon ride into the woods. While out there, they will roast food for us. I will tell of my speaking terrors in a minute, but we first have to take a moment to examine Polish food, now that I brought it up.

Every morning, we have what is called “milk soup”. I actuallty like this very much, it is warm and creamy, with either rice, or oats or some other grain in it. This is usually served with slices of cheese, jam, cucumbers, radishes and tomatos. I have never in my life eaten radishes for breakfast until now.

Lunch is the main event here. You begin with a soup,usually with potatos in it. One day it was potato soup with dill pickle slivers chopped into it. Not my favorite. A main plate is served with chicken mostly, although today it was chicken livers and beets. Oy. I am going to be very spiritual and fast, I believe. One day, we had some kind of meat rolled in cabbage leaves with tomato soup poured over it. It wasn’t too bad.

Dinner is lighter fare, usually sandwiches and some vegetables and fruit. No drinks are ever cold here. Hot tea, coffee, hot milk….even hot “compote”, which is boiling water poured over fruit to make a juice. It is served hot in glasses with all kinds of mushy fruits in the bottom. Kimberly said yesterday that her’s looked like a scene from the bottom of the ocean. I had to agree. Now last night, we had a super fun kielbasa cookout….and joy of all joys…..they served room temperate COKE!!! I thought my taste buds were jumping for joy! Nothing ever tasted so good! I barely ate, except for lots of pickles and coleslaw…but I drank lots of coke. I confess right here that I am craving ice more than just about anything else in the whole world.

Time to move on from the menus to my spate of speaking terrors. I got through the morning devotion ok, I suppose. It was blissfully short and my stomach didn’t hurt too badly. Then Steven, the missionary asked me if I would mind being one of the ones giving testimony during the Polish church service. Before I knew what I was saying, I heard this voice agreeing to do it. I was shocked to find out it was my own voice! It was easier the second time, because most of the people in the room did not understand English and really were more listening to my interpreter!

The church service was amazing. I have never felt such a precious move of God in my life. Hearing voices praising Him in another language, somehow you still can “feel” the intent of the words. Several on our team gave moving testimony. The most amazing event of all was that Zuschia, one of our Jewish friends, came to church for the first time to ask for prayer for her sick friend, Richard. She stood and gave testimony of her life during the holocaust. Everyone was riveted. The pastor gave a stirring sermon, with the gospel presented so clearly. I was so incredibly thankful that Zuschia was there to hear it. Then there was a time of spontaneous, heartfelt prayer, and then a prayer for healing service. Several went forward for prayer, including Zuschia. She was anointed with oil, and several prayed over her and for her friend, Richard. There was not a dry eye in the place! Oh my goodness, such tears and weeping!!! I was leading the pack in tears, that is for sure. Even though I am longwinded in recording the events of the trip, I know that I am just not able to fully capture the flavor, the smells, the touches of God that have permeated this journey. I know I will never be the same, nor will I forget all I have seen and experienced. I have been blessed beyond measure.

It’s now late evening. The wagon ride was great fun, but sooooooo HOT! The horses were very sweet and the wagons were adorned with leaves and garlands of flowers. The horses had bells on and jingled as they trotted along. We stopped to pick wild blueberries in the forest, walked through a swamp and then had a nice HOT bonfire where they roasted kielbasa for us….truly, we looked like a wild band of gypsies in the forest, with the wagons, horses, the driver dressed in old world clothing and cooking over the fire, sitting on logs etc.

One last note for today. I would be remiss if I did not make mention of the roads and driving here. If I simply said potholes, you just couldn’t picture it. If I simply said there was more pothole than road….if I simply said these cannot even be called roads, but really paths….not even paths….more likebad overgrown trails that you are driven down at high rates of speed, in a van overloaded with people and tools and wheelbarrows in the lap…..hitting each and every bump as you hurtle through a virtual jungle….now we are beginning to get the picture. It’s like a rollercoaster and safari all rolled into one grand adventure. Never have I had so many laughs as in that van….except for maybe on the wagon ride. Although the wagon ride was actually less bumpy and treacherous.

Tuesday, July 16, 2007
I would have recorded some thoughts yesterday but my whole body was so exhausted, it wasn’t possible to type. We were working the Warsaw Cemetery yesterday. It’s the singlemost important cemetery outside of Israel. Many famous rabbis are buried there, as well as leaders of the Warsaw Ghetto Resistance Movement along with the two huge mass graves for those 40,000 and 100,000+ bodies. I saw the grave houses of the many Rebbe’s who began all the Hasidic dynasties. It was a terribly emotional time for me there. Standing on the ground of the mass grave….I couldn’t contain my grieving. I was nearly sick to my stomach. It is as if the ground itself cries out about the horrors, the terror, the atrocities. There is a precious children’s memorial there with tiny photographs of the many children (more than a million) who were slaughtered in the holocaust. Then there is the statue of the man who ran the Jewish orphanage, Krauschak (sp?) who, in rebellion, when told to send his children in that orphanage to the gas chambers, dressed them all up in their finest clothing, and walked with them in silent lines, to their death. The Nazi’s had found him valuable and wanted him to live, but when they required the death of his orphaned children, he refused to send them alone.

We worked for hours, clearing debris from the oldest section of the cemetery. It was the hottest day of the year in Warsaw, and frankly,I think the thermostat got stuck on hell! It was soooooooooooo HOT. We worked for hours and it was filthy work, sweaty work, heavy work. There is some kind of sticker bush or weed that when it touches you, it stings sooooo bad. It looks completely innocent, however, and you just don’t know it has you until the pain comes….and then the welts and the redness. Let’s not discuss the bugs.

Last night, after dinner (I need to make a few additions to the food discussion later) Steven (the missionary) sat down with Stanislav. I joined them. He wanted a Hebrew English New Testament for his grandson and for himself. Steven gave him the last one we had for his grandson, and I have promised to send Stanislav one for himself along with our photographs together. He mentioned that his faith, and our faith together are completion!!! I was so overcome. He and his grandson might begin attending the Baptist church plant Steven started!!!! Can you imagine? Later, we all went once again, out for ice cream and Stanislav joined the group. The fellowship has been so sweet.

Today, the whole team had a tourist day in Old Town Warsaw. Steven took me on a tour of the Jewish Ghetto and many of the important Jewish History sites here in Warsaw. I cried myself sick. Standing in the same places where over 300,000 Jews had been herded into cattle cars and taken to death camps…..standing on top of the bunker in the ghetto where Mordecai had led the rebellion and his bunker all perished before they could be liberated or escape….they are buried there. I laid down a rememberance stone at his burial site. I saw the Warsaw headquarters for the Nazi’s. I saw bullet holes in ghetto walls, where Nazi’s fired on those trying to escape. And it was like you can hear the screams of terror…..you can feel the despair and the torment seeping out of the earth itself. The ground here is soaked with the blood of innocents and the air echoes with the groans of wounds that cannot heal. I am utterly undone.

Before we left, I got to meet another Jewish lady. Her name is Paola. She was in Auschwitz at the tender age of 16. She alone survived in her family. She immigrated to Amsterdam where she has lived the rest of her life. She showed me the numbers tattoo’d on her arm. She let me photograph them. She is a survivor….but she sees no evidence of God in this world. She has seen only hatred caused by religions. It was difficult to minister to her battered soul.

One last discussion on food. Things went slightly downhill the past couple of days….as stomach was on the menu one night….stomach soup. Apparently this looks like hairy rubberbands floating in broth and tastes even worse. However this is strictly innocent bystander information. It did not go into MY mouth. I am not kidding. Last night, we had chicken liver pate….again….not going into my mouth, ok????? Oh…and today, the weatherman announced that it was 98 degrees in the shade here in Warsaw. We began with the week with 40 degree weather, and the past two days have been Africa hot.

This trip has been the adventure of a lifetime. So above and beyond and exceedingly abundantly more than I could have imagined. I have experienced the gamut of emotions…joy and despair so close on the heels of each other that it all begins blending together. There is still much work to be done here. Not just physical work. The spiritual work has only just begun.

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